Friday, July 19, 2019

Bumble App Review – Is it any good and how does it compare to other dating sites?

After having tried some of the online dating sites over the years, I figured I would give one of the dating apps a try. After doing some research I decided to try out Bumble. One of the unique features of Bumble is that women have to make the first move by sending a message if they are interested. So how did it work out and how does it compare to other dating sites?

I tried it for a couple weeks and I should note, I am male so I was only able to “like” profiles but not send messages. Signing up was fairly simple. It asks you to upload some pictures, answer some questions and fill out a little bit about yourself.

One thing I noticed was it does not really let you write much about yourself. In the “About Me” section, I was literally only able to write 3 sentences before it cut off with a character limit. The questions it gives are not the best. For example, one that seems to show up a lot in the profiles was “Do you like the beach or the mountains?” This does not really tell you much about the person.

The app lets you set a couple filters for free to help narrow down your search. You have to pay if you want to add more filters. You can also pay to get premium features such as a boost for more attention, and the ability to see who has liked you even if you have not liked them.

Once you have your profile and settings filled out you begin looking through profiles one by one. I never tried Tinder but I'm familiar with the swipe right and swipe left feature which is how it works in Bumble to either like or dislike a profile.

Since Bumble doesn't really let you add much information about yourself and the questions are pretty bland, it pretty much just comes down to a pictures app. Because of this, I can see most people just looking quickly at the pictures and swiping right or left without even reading anything in the profile. This works if you are an attractive person, but for most people on the app, this will not be beneficial.

I tended to be selective when going through the profiles and only swiping right if I really had interest and saw potential after having looked through the whole profile. My filters were also strong enough that I was able to go through all potential profiles within a few days. Each day new ones show up though.

After a couple weeks of using the app, it resulted in 0 matches. So this means none of the profiles I liked, liked back. I guess I am not too surprised by it, but it would have been nice to actually get a match. I will probably delete the app soon.

For me, I am more interested in dating sites that allow people to really show who they are. For example on OKCupid there is a lot more opportunity to write about yourself and answer questions to see how you match up with other people.

I see Bumble as more of a pictures dating app that will work for people who are very photogenic. Because of this, I do not see it working out too well for most people. Overall if the swipe right, swipe left dating app style appeals to you, it might be worth a try, but if you are looking for something more meaningful, there are better options out there.

Sunday, July 14, 2019

Life Expectancy – Changes for Each Generation

Life expectancy has increased with each generation as people have learned to live healthier lives and the medical field has improved to prevent and treat illnesses. The issues our parents and grandparents had to deal with are often no longer a problem due to advances in medicine or new findings in related to health.

Now is a great time to be alive but there are always things to improve upon. While each generation learns from previous generations on how to be healthier and live longer, we are also exposed to new things which might actually be harmful in the long run.

For example new foods are being introduced into our diets each year. A lot of these foods are processed and artificial. While they may be considered safe to eat, the long term effects on health are still unknown.

Not only has food changed, but other things such as technology and the environment have changed significantly in recent years. We are exposed to a lot of new technology such as cellular and wifi signals. These things may be safe for now, but there is no long term research on these things because they are so new. It could be that in 50 years they find out that some of this technology is the cause of a new illness due to long term exposure.

Cars and factories and people in general continue to pollute the air and water that we all depend on. We might think the air and water is ok now, but again, there could be long term health concerns that we don't know about yet and won't know until it is too late.

Each generation improves by learning from previous generations, but at the same time they are faced with new issues that the previous generations did not have to deal with. Since no one knows what the future holds, we just have to use the information we have now to try to live long healthy lives.

Friday, July 5, 2019

Insecurity – Everything is ok, or is it?

Recently I found some posts on Reddit asking questions such as “Girls, what are some things guys should not be insecure about?” and “Guys, what are some things girls should not be insecure about?” They are quite interesting to read because you can discover the things most people are insecure about and see how it relates to yourself.

For context, here are some of the most common things guys and girls are insecure about, in which the opposite sex assures they should not be, based on the comments in the threads:

Guys:
Intelligence (not knowing something)
Hair (baldness)
Facial hair (not able to grow beard)
Penis size (not big enough)
Liking feminine things or appearing feminine
Showing feelings or emotions / crying
Weight (too fat or too skinny)
Height (too short)

Girls:
Making the first move
Intelligence (appearing too smart)
Body hair
Breast size or shape
Periods
Hair style / appearance
Weight (too fat or too skinny)
Height (too tall)
Being seen without makeup / nails done
Age (getting older)

After reading over the posts, one of the main takeaways was that people should not be insecure about all these things because other people really don't care as much as we think they do. Another finding was that many of the things you might feel insecure about are actually liked or valued by others.

We tend to be our own worst critic and we see every small detail about ourselves and it's easy to get into a negative mindset about any little flaw or imperfection. Then we might think that the whole world sees us in this way when in fact they probably don't even notice at all or if they do, it not a big deal to them.

Based on the number of times these kinds of questions have been asked, it is clear that many people struggle with insecurity. Feeling this way can really bring you down and hurt your self esteem. So how can one overcome these thoughts and feel better about themself?

I think the answer is simply that you have to learn to be happy with yourself and be accepting of who you are. This is easier said than done. You really have to believe that you are ok with who you are in order to overcome the things that are causing you to feel insecure.

A viewpoint that gets brought up is that while others might not care about the thing that is making a person insecure, that person still feels insecure about it themselves. People can tell you there is no reason to feel bad about whatever is bothering you, but until you believe it yourself, it will continue to be something you struggle with.

So the question is, if all these things we are insecure about are actually not a big deal, why are we insecure about them? I think the reason is a combination of conditioning by society as well as human nature which causes us to be judgmental. We see other people in the world and we make judgments about them just based on how they look.

In terms of society and media, we have shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette which create unrealistic expectations about what potential suitors are supposed to look like. They go through thousands of applications and select what they think are the most attractive and desirable people to be on the show.

Of course the people they select are very good looking and this conveys a message that you have to look like these people in order for people to like you. Then you take a look in the mirror and realize you don't look like the people on the show and it makes you feel bad. This is an example of how we are influenced by the media, but I believe we as humans have a natural tendency to make judgments based on what we see.

One might say it is bad to judge people based on their appearance without getting to know them. I agree, in an ideal world, you should not “judge a book by its cover” but in the real world, we don't have the time or opportunity to get to know every single person we see. Just going out into the world, you may be around hundreds of people in a day. It's not possible to sit down and have an in-depth conversation with every person, so you have to use the knowledge you have to make quick judgments based on what you see.

An example of this would be when looking for a potential boyfriend/girlfriend. When out in the world, you might unconsciously scan everyone you pass or interact with and make quick judgments about if there would be any potential for a relationship based on what you see. You might look for things like age, attractiveness, style, signs of availability, and demeanor.

These things then act as a filter for if there is potential for a relationship with that person. If they pass the quick filter test, you may be more open to interacting with them vs if they do not pass the filter, you may have no interest to get to know them.

I think because of this and the desire to be liked and accepted by other people is the reason we fear judgment and in turn end up becoming insecure about what we believe are things about ourselves that are not good enough.

So which mindset is correct? On one hand, we live in a judgmental society that puts a lot of value on the way we look. On the other hand, people are saying that these things are not really a big deal and that we shouldn't worry about them. I think you have to keep both viewpoints in mind and realize that yes, you may be judged on things, but at the same time, you should not allow these things to bring you down or make you feel bad about yourself.

Also keep in mind that you are not defined by one thing. Everyone has things they wish they could change or could be different. The truth is there are so many things that make us who we are. Even if there are a few things you might be unhappy with, there are plenty of other things about you that are likable. Also everyone has different opinions on what they like and dislike. Something you don't like about yourself may in fact be a thing that someone actually does like.

Overall, I think the best advice when it comes to insecurity is to learn to be happy and accepting of who you are. Once you have achieved this, it can be freeing and can translate into self confidence which itself is an attractive quality.