Wednesday, July 25, 2018

The topic of finding someone to date and asking people out on dates

I have never really been the kind of guy who attracts a lot of girls, but over the years, there have been a few times where girls did ask me out on a date. Since they were rare occurrences and I still remember them, I thought I would write about what happened in these cases.

One day back when I was in 6th grade, a girl in my class approached me and asked if I wanted to go out with her. I was surprised by the question as “going out” with someone was definitely something new to me and not really something I was ready for. Looking back on it as an adult, I was just a young kid at that time but I guess that is around the age when people start to develop those kinds of feelings.

When she asked, I felt kind of awkward and just said something like “I don't know.” or “I don't know if my parents will let me.” This was true and I wasn't even sure I was ready to jump into something like that at the time. Plus I did not really have any particular interest in this girl. I think she might have inquired about it once more but I just kind of brushed it off so nothing became of the situation.

Some years later when I was in high school I got an unexpected call from another girl I went to school with. She asked me if I told one of her friends to ask her out. I was really confused by what she said because I had no idea what she was talking about. I thought she thought I told one of her friends to ask her out on a date. I told her no, and she was like “Oh... Ok bye.”

Then like a minute later she calls back. This time she asks me directly if I want to go out with her. Unfortunately I was not interested in this girl either so hesitantly I said “Not really.” Again she was like “Ok. Bye.” I was still a bit confused by the whole situation. After thinking about it, I determined what had happened.

Most likely, her friend for whatever reason told her that I wanted to go out with her. I'm not sure why she would do that. I didn't even really know her friend. I think maybe she just thought she could be a matchmaker and set something like this up.

Looking back, I do feel kind of bad about it. This girl probably thought I was interested in her and she was going to get to go out with me only for me to reject her. It was not my fault though since the friend had lied to her. I hope she did not get too upset about it.

A couple years later we did end up in a class together and even had to do a small group project together. Needless to say, it was a bit awkward. Neither of us said anything about it. We managed to do the group project and everything turned out ok.

Those were the main times I was asked out in real life, but I have also been asked out via online dating websites. One in particular, a girl was kind of persistent with messaging me even after I told her I was not really interested. It's a shame that it seems whenever something like this happens, it is with someone I'm not interested in.

That is one of the things that makes finding someone to be in a relationship so difficult. You may find someone who you think is just perfect and matches with you in every way, but the problem is, they have to feel the same way in return and this rarely happens, at least in my experience.

I have not asked out many girls myself as I am pretty reserved and shy in real life. I have sent out messages on the dating sites expressing interest in girls I like but rarely do I get a response and in the few cases I do, they usually say they are not interested. It seems to be the running theme when it comes to trying to find someone to date.

Because of this, I find it hard to believe how so many people are actually in relationships and how so many people actually find people to date that are compatible. In my experience it is very rare to find someone who you like who also happens to like you in return. Maybe it is easier for some people than others. It could also be that a lot of people get into relationships with people who are actually not that compatible.

This looks to be true based on the number of people who break up, get divorced, or remain stuck in bad relationships. I think sometimes this happens and people just try to stick with it even if they are not happy for whatever reason. Maybe they have kids so they do not want to break up the family. Maybe they think their current relationship is their best chance and they will not be able to meet anyone else.

As a single person who is getting older, I am still picky about who I would consider getting into a relationship with. I'm not going to just go out with people for the sake of going out unless I feel there is a a strong level of compatibility and the potential for a good relationship. Up until this point I have not had much success, but I continue to keep the door open to potential relationships. It can be difficult but you never know when the right person might show up!

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